What you should and shouldn’t do during a divorce

Divorce is an emotionally charged process. Because the situation is stressful, it would be best to remind yourself of some classic do’s and don’ts while you go through the divorce process.

during a divorce

Divorce Do’s

1. Create support and social network

This is important not only for emotional support during separation but will also be part of building a new single lifestyle.

2. Pay your child support and alimony obligations on time

Not only will you avoid dire legal consequences, but you are also supporting your children. The money goes towards the rent/mortgage, food, clothes, utilities, and other necessities. If you suspect that the money isn’t being used appropriately, document your concerns and have your divorce lawyer use it as evidence to modify your support and alimony obligations.

3. Disclose your assets and income fully to your attorney

A lack of transparency may penalize you in Court. Your spouse might also demand discovery that could draw out the legal proceeding, making the process costly to both parties.

4. Gather financial documents

Some examples include tax returns, bank statements, securities account information, corporate records, partnership agreements, real estate transaction documents, etc.

Related: 30 Questions to Ask Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer

5. Try to settle

This is easier said than done. But a divorce lawyer will work with you to negotiate reasonable terms.

Divorce Don’ts

1. Don’t speak negatively about your spouse to or near your children

Not only can this hurt your case in Court, but it can also hurt your relationship with your children.

2. Do not argue with your spouse

Your attorney will do the fighting for you.

3. Don’t get caught up in bringing up old arguments either

Rather than getting hung up on past issues, try to stay in the present to keep your divorce proceedings moving along as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Related: How Much Does a Divorce in New York Cost?

4. Don’t withhold parenting time because your Ex didn’t pay child support

Parenting time is for your child’s benefit as well as your Ex’s.

5. Don’t supervise how your children are to communicate with your Ex

Likewise, make sure your Ex respects any boundaries that the two of you agreed to when it comes to communicating with your children.

6. Don’t involve your children in the divorce process

It is unfair to drag your child into the divorce process, and even harmful to their mental health. It is important to encourage your child to have a normal relationship with both you and your Ex by keeping them away from the Court proceeding, unless you suspect there are severe safety issues.

7. Don’t lie to your attorney

Your rights during a separation include attorney/client privilege, which keeps information between you and your attorney confidential. For this reason, you should not misrepresent information to your attorney.


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